Sentinel Literary Quarterly

Vol.2 No.4, July 2009. ISSN 1753-6499 (Online).

The Magazine of World Literature

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Where is the Drama?


The Editor of Sentinel Literary Quarterly tries to relax in front of the television for a compulsory viewing of the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse with his son when the phone suddenly begins to ring.


Editor: Hello, SLQ, may I help you?


Caller: You bloody well may, if you are the editor of Sentinel Literary Quarterly.


Editor: Yes. This is he. (Turns down TV volume, as son begins to yell a protest).


Caller: I am currently on your website. Trying to read the magazine.


Editor: Trying?


Caller: Well yes, I can't find the bloody drama, can I?


Editor: But that's because we won't start publishing drama until our October issue.


Caller: Why couldn't you bloody wait until October to put the link? It kind of gives the wrong impression, you know.


Editor: Please cut out the 'bloody'. It is doing my head in. (Pauses) I put the link now because I wanted to, because it will tell our readers to expect some drama from next quarter, and because next quarter, I don't have to start fussing around with the page layout.


Caller: So, you are a lazy sod then.


Editor: Possibly. (Getting a little annoyed.) Anything else I can do for you?


Caller: I bet you will be publishing tonnes of African plays then?


Editor: Why do you suggest that?


Caller: You are bloo..., You are African, aren't you? With that name NN something.


Editor: I will encourage lots of African stage and screen plays, yes. But Sentinel has always been about anyone from any part of the world.


Caller: Well that's good to know. I was a little concerned, being from Aberdeen and all. I write a little, you know.


Editor: No sir. I don't know.


Caller: Well then, I better submit something then.


Editor: Please do that.


Caller: I have written a comedy about the MPs expenses scandal. Do you know, a lot of African friends of mine don't find it at all shocking that the MPs have taken liberty with the taxpayer's money.


Editor: Are you done?


Caller: You sound a little cheesed. Just fancied a little bit of banter, that's all.


Editor: But right now, I don't fancy a banter.


Caller: You do really. I can tell. I bet you will be publishing something by Paul Eustice then. His beard! My word!


Editor: Listen mate. I really have to get back to watching Mickey Mouse. By all means send your play or excerpt from a play, and we'll consider it. Please keep it under 15,000 words. Send to


Caller: You watch Mickey Mouse?


Editor: Goodnight sir.


Caller: Really, you watch...


Editor: I don't want to be rude and put the phone down. Goodnight sir.


Caller: Well aawlright! Goodnight.


The Editor switches off phone. Apologises to son and returns to the very beginning of Mickey's Great Clubhouse Hunt.






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