The Interesting Case of
Joseph Sangala
by Gregory Akinbowale Lawson
Joseph Sangala had always considered himself to be a
lucky man. In fact he considered himself to be
probably one of the luckiest people in the world. He
was born on the day the pipe-borne water was
introduced into his
village of Tompiko. As a result, he was the first
baby to benefit from the joys of adequate water
supply at child birth. What nobody told us was the
fact that he was also the first baby to be afflicted
with the water borne rash which accompanied the
introduction of the pipe borne system. Being the
only child born on that fateful day, all the
villagers knew and associated him with the
introduction of better things to come to Tompiko. He
crawled, walked and ran in the comfort of villagers
who revered him and who looked to him for good luck
while some even prayed for his type of luck. True to
the circumstances surrounding his birth Joseph
Sangala went through life based on luck.
He was a happy, jovial fellow who walked through
life with the ease of one who had never known any
worries. On his first day at the local village
school which could only accommodate one hundred and
fifty students per class, Joseph got enrolled as the
one hundred and fiftieth student for that class. He
went through his primary school more or less
guessing his way through exams and on the day of his
national common entrance exam into secondary school,
he was given the answers to all his questions by a
man he was sure he had never seen before. What
Joseph did not know was that the answers were meant
to be for Aliki the son of the village chief who had
paid for the answers to be delivered to him so that
his son may be accepted to the
City Secondary School. As luck would have it Aliki
was wearing the same type of striped blue jacket
Joseph was wearing. Needless to say, Joseph got
accepted to the city secondary school on merit and
on scholarship no less, to become the first indigene
of Tompiko to go to Secondary school. This of course
added to the legend that was fast becoming Joseph
Sangala.
The news of Joseph’s imminent move to the city was
met with great joy and celebrations by the villagers
as it was believed that, just as his luck had
brought water to the village of Tompiko, it was just
a matter of time before his luck (and of course his
intelligence) brought higher education to its
people. So as not to be denied the chance of being
part of the village history, most of the villagers
brought in what they could, from pieces of banana so
that he would not starve, to their youngest
daughters (which his parents humbly declined). A few
weeks later, Joseph packed his bags and belongings
and donning his striped blue jacket (the same one),
headed for the nearest bus park which was many miles
away. With his leisurely pace and happy smile,
greeting all and everyone, he got to the bus park
and headed to the bus going to the city. As he got
into the bus he couldn’t help noticing that he took
the last available seat. The bus conductor also
noted that, had not the poor lady who got off the
bus a few minutes earlier not realised that she may
have left the stove in her house burning, he would
not have been able to get to the city for another 4
weeks when the next bus to the city was leaving.
‘Ah’ said Joseph, ‘I guess I am just lucky’ he
continued, with a wink.
The seventeen-hour long journey to the city began
with all the passengers chatting and making merry.
Gradually they all calmed down and after a couple of
hours, most were dozing. When the bus made a
temporary stop, one of many, most passengers got off
to ease themselves the various way they knew how to
but not Joseph. In all his excitement he did not
want to get off until he reached he city.
Unfortunately, he did not know his physiology as
much as he thought he did, for some minutes after
the bus resumed its journey, Joseph felt the need to
ease himself rather urgently. After three hours,
with the need so bad, he was sure his bladder would
explode. He begged the bus driver to make an
unscheduled stop so he could get off but the driver
adamantly refused. Had the driver known the legend
of Joseph Sangala he might have reconsidered. With
the next scheduled stop not for another 45 minutes,
he almost began to weep. As soon as the bus stopped
for its next break, Joseph was out in flash and
running into the woods before the driver had even
shut the engine. He ran into the wood and did his
business. After about 10 minutes, Joseph Sangala
returned to the bus grinning and back to his happy
self. The moment he got on to the bus he knew
something was wrong. The bus conductor (the same)
explained to him that a few moments after the bus
stopped (and of course after Joseph left) they were
attacked by a group of armed robbers who robbed
everyone on the bus and took all their money and
jewellery and left just a few moments before Joseph
returned from the bushes. Had the passengers not
known how pressed Joseph was, they would have
thought he had orchestrated the whole thing.
As Joseph’s luck was in the village, so it was in
the city and virtually on everything. In school
Joseph would only study a few hours prior to the
time of any of his tests and examinations. And to
the surprise of all his friends, the preset
questions would almost revolve around the little bit
he had studied. Even in his social life,
circumstances always made him meet the most
attractive women and his confidence grew in multiple
folds, which did not hurt his appeal in any case.
These things happened so often that he was given the
nickname ‘Lucky Joe’. Lucky Joe was so lucky that he
was never challenged to games of chance because the
outcome was always predictable. At the age when he
considered himself a man, Lucky Joe decided that the
city was too small for him and the world was his to
conquer. After watching a series of movies in the
city cinema, he decided that
America was his destination and was determined to
continue his life there. He decided to take part in
the city lottery which for some reason he never did
before, but maybe the magnitude of his ambition
eventually convinced him, or the fact that he did
not really have any money to his name.
He won the city lottery he played for which though,
was not a great amount, but enough. He went to the
American consulate to request a visa and there he
met the consular who issued him a limited stay
tourist visa without much ado. What he did not know
was that the night before, the consul’s wife gave
birth to a beautiful baby boy, the couple’s first
child. A child they had been expecting for 9 years
since their marriage. The consul was in such in a
good mood that he failed to notice (or if he did,
did not seem to mind) that lucky Joe was unemployed,
had no significant ties to his home country and
indeed applied for an indefinite stay in America.
Had conditions been otherwise he would have been
rejected a visa without much thought. Lucky Joe went
back to his home and called all his friends to tell
them the good news.
The news of lucky Joe’s imminent move to America was
met with great joy and celebration by his city
friends, in part due to genuine affection, and in
part due to the sheer joy that the guy who they
believed might be taking off their portion of luck
is leaving to a distant land and maybe they would be
relatively lucky in his absence. As a show of
goodwill his friends contributed and bought him a
card. On his way to the airport, they handed it to
him and said ‘this is something for good luck’.
Lucky Joe took the card, still in the envelop,
tossed it in his handbag and said ‘boys, of all
people, you should know that I do not need luck, in
fact luck needs me’ and with his happy face left to
the airport in his blue stripped jacket.
On his way to the airport Lucky Joe met with one of
the worst traffics of the day. However great the cab
driver tried to wriggle in between lanes, they
always seemed to get into the slow lane. Finally,
they got to the airport and as Joe was running to
the check in desk, the strap of his hand bag cut
loose. He managed to gather all his things together
and ran to the desk and to his dismay it was closed.
The lady in a blue uniform informed him that he just
missed the check in attendants by seconds and he
would have to catch another flight. For the first
time in his life, Lucky Joe cursed his luck. He
bought another ticket leaving that day.
Joseph arrived in
America in a foul mood clutching his bag very
closely to his chest seeing as it had no functioning
strap added to the fact that his funds were
massively depleted by the purchase of another
ticket. After about 45minutes of queuing on the line
in passport control, he finally got to the
immigration officer. One look at a frowning,
obviously distressed Joseph Sangala, the immigration
officer decided this was going to be the object of
frustration. The frustration caused by the divorce
papers he received from his wife’s lawyer earlier in
the day. He asked Joseph about his employment
status, social status and reason for visit. Joseph
duly answered unemployed, single and no specific
reason respectively. Not surprisingly, he was
recommended to more officials for further
questioning. There he was searched and during the
course of the search the unscrupulous James Smith,
who was known to have no sense of people’s privacy
came across the card that Joseph’s friend gave him.
Mr Sangala, he said, ‘may I?’ and without waiting
for a response proceeded to reading the card. Boldly
written on the card were the words. ‘Best of Luck
Joseph Sangala as you Conquer America’
Lucky Joe was refused entry into the
United States of America.
The End.
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